Conflicting Desires or Why I Don’t Blog Although I Want To

10th November 2015
DR-Conflicting

My insane November TBR. Minus 800 pages of Winter. Minus Manners & Mutiny and a potential Finishing School reread.

Over the past couple of weeks, I’ve been torn between reading and blogging – and ended up spending a lot of time watching Netflix instead of doing either because I just couldn’t decide which one to pick.

My poor blog will tell you that I’ve never been a truly dedicated blogger, although I love my blog and I love blogging and reading other blogs. It’s just not my top priority. As much as I love talking about books, I love reading them even more. At least most of the time. There are always ups and downs. I usually want to read and blog the most when I’m busiest at uni. Every time I’m stressed out, I want to do all the things I don’t have time for, but as soon as I actually have the time, my motivation vanishes into thin air.

Currently, I just want to do both. I’ve got so many ideas and half written posts, but I also have ginormeous piles of books I want to read before the year’s done. Unfortunatley, it’s almost over and I have no idea where the time went. Therefore, I have turned into a manic readingrat, trying to catch up on some of my TBR goals. No, not reduction-wise. After all, we’re talking me here. It’s more of an anti-aging thing: try to catch up on the books that have been on my shelves the longest. The longest meaning about ten years, by the way. Statistically, I tend to pick up books from the last two to three years the most, completely ignoring what came before. For months now, I forgot to check and stay on track, which means that I’m trying to catch up on some of the goals …

… she said and picked up the first book in the Lunar Chronicles to reread before Winter is … nope, I won’t write that. For a Stark girl, this is blasphemy. The North remembers, duh! Alas, I’m ecstatic about the 800 pages tome that is the final instalment in one of my favourite series. And rereading is fun. I used to be the queen of rereading. This year, however, a lot has changed. In the past, about every third book had been a reread. This year, it’s only every tenth book – and that’s after I already reread the prequel, the first two books and all the short stories of the Lunar Chronicles. I kind of miss rereading, not having time for my favourites because I desperately try to keep my TBR at bay, which actually is a fruitless endeavor. Plus, it’s not really bothering me that I own more unread books than read ones. And yet, I love trying to read more of them and hope I’ll not stop rereading alltogether. I’d love to reread more, but so many books, so little time.

I could write so many reviews and blog posts about those things. In the end, I just grab the book lying next to me. Will I ever be able to balance these conflicting desires? I don’t know. If I succeed, you’ll get more posts from me. If I don’t, you know where I am: stuck with my head in one of my ~2,000 books.

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5 responses

  • Ah, I absolutely feel you.
    I’m still trying to catch up with the reviews I want to write but there are also webcomics to present and Netflix and books and stuff and you know.
    (Doesn’t help that I want to read my current book but also I don’t and I already had it for more than two months … and it’s a library book. xD)

    • Maybe you should pick up another book first? Or find a way to motivate you to finish it?
      I’ve given up on catching up on reviews. There are a couple I want to write, but I axed most of the ones I’d planned on writing. However, I really want to catch up on the Wrap-Up & Newbie posts before this year’s done. Let’s see how that goes, though.

      • I really want to finish it first but … oh well, I just renewed it so I have four more weeks. And I do read a bit now and then. (Also, „Winter“ arrives soon, that should be motivation.)
        I alsready scratched a lot of reviews and the reviews are only for those I want people to know about. It’s … it’s been worse.
        Good luck? ;D

  • Yup, yup. This is so about me.
    I have my blog in my thoughts every day. I think of writing up a review every other day. But. I sort of have two jobs – well, one is a thing where I actually just sit there and print things out for people every hour or so. And then there’s the translations for TV shows and such. And there’s also Uni. Who made me want to go after that Masters, like, seriously? 😀
    And I soo want to read something I want to read, but lately I’ve been only reading what’s necessary for uni. Which saddens me a bit.
    But! My Winter copy has not arrived yet. I soo can’t wait for it. But it supposedly is still wawiting publication. The Book Depository said that there’s some hold up with the publisher. Argh! 😀 So I’ll definitely be reading that whenever I get it at long last.
    And then there’s some TV shows to catch up with and a moment of video games, and, and, and.

    • Ah, I feel you! Two jobs and uni must be hard. I’ve got only one job and uni and uni’s really not that time consuming since most of my classes are only every other week or on weekends (which is annoying though).

      I just finished Winter and I loved it! I just put my life on hold when my copy finally arrived and tried to read it as fast as I could. Although I really didn’t want it to end either. I hope your copy will be shipped soon. Have fun reading!